Monday, July 6, 2009

Trying it on

Had an urge to write a post about birth - no real topic in mind. Maybe I'll write about discovering ourselves in the space of the birth profession.

This is a topic that is alive for me right now as my partner and I discover that we are in need of discover/rediscovery of our own identities as doulas and birth professionals before we engage as partners. We talked tonight about the initiation that occurs as we enter into this work and yes, when I look back I see many stages of initiation for which I'm grateful, but didn't necessarily love experiencing.

I forget sometimes that while I am one of the witnesses and guardians of the space as parents are initiated by their birth experience, that I am also experiencing my own along the way as well. I can't remember the exact moment that I realized that it wasn't about the OUTCOME. Thank goodness it was early on, but what a huge weight it was off my shoulders to not feel that I had to perform in a pass or fail way with my clients, but that I could be a part of their experience in each moment, and remind them to BE in that very moment.

I remember when I first started out, wanting to keep track of statistics and after just a few clients I realized how fruitless that was, and how skewed it caused my focus to be.

I think it's time to start writing again! Woo hoo. :)