What is 'interference'?

I'm having a nice discussion with some Trust Birth folk on my blog which is much easier here in my own territory, where I'm not misunderstood and have a chance to clarify. Facebook is too frustrating which is why I gave up trying there. Too much 'cheerleading'.

I AM questioning interference, but at this point I'm trying to understand how Trust Birth defines it, and it is also causing me to explore it for myself. I was reading about the Matrona and they share a lot of the interference messages which I thought was interesting. I'm looking at this concept from two perspectives:

1. Who defines interference? Can you know you're interfering until after the fact? What does intention matter, really?

2. What do I personally feel is 'interference' - I'd say unnecessary distraction of the parents (because I do not believe it is just about the mother), whether medical or social or whatever. If there isn't a good medical reason to be fussing with the parents, then don't. If there isn't a benefit to the parents for the social interference (guests, phones ringing, excessive conversation, etc.), then don't. Seems pretty simple to me.

What I get stuck on in this conversation (and I am thoroughly enjoying it!) is that I experience a black and white view of what 'should' and 'should not'. I see comments around what the TB person views as interference but that maybe the client wouldn't at all. Maybe the withdrawal of the support person (if it is unexpected) is an interference, too. I know that generally, women hire people with an idea in mind of what they're going to get. Sometimes they are surprised. If you are high risk and can only deliver with an obstetrician in a hospital setting and require intervention to make that happen- is that interference?

I am struggling to understand where the line is drawn. I love the idea of assessing newborn health without fussing with the mama and baby, which the Matrona promotes. I won't even pretend to say it doesn't scare ME, the idea of something going south and having to take records to a hospital where there is no charting of anything at all.

I don't think it's as simple as surrendering to a philosophy, not in this culture. We're very into records and defensibility. I think that each provider has to design this way of functioning for themselves. I have seen beautiful midwife Pamela Hines-Powell delve into her beliefs time and again and come out changed, with a new shift, with a new way of practicing. I've seen her pull back more and more and have been excited about what seems like a shifting faith and belief and trust, something we desperately lack in our culture. I have learned a lot from the journey's she's shared about simple things like hats, and major things like the birth bubble.

I want to end by saying that I feel very strongly that one message I take away from the TB discussions I've seen (and I've seen MANY) is that there seems to be only one *right* way to be present at a birth. This goes against my fundamental beliefs and it's probably one of the reasons why I just don't connect, despite the many areas we are in agreement. I am concerned about the idea of ANY organization telling ANY group of people that there is one way to be 'correct'. I have met many women and attended many births and each client wanted something a little different. She needed something specific to her to feel safe and feel connected. Let's not forget the fathers who are equally important and have their own set of needs- there's just no way we can ask midwives to subscribe to one set of beliefs and then serve such a wide population.

Let me explain:

One client might want a more hands on midwife because while she is excited about birthing at home, she needs the reassurance of the heart tones checking/vitals, verbal encouragement, etc. Another client might not want any of this. Both clients might not know this until they're in labor and this is often the case.

I suppose this means that the provider needs to discern for themselves in every moment what is 'interfering' and what is not. What worries me is that people might come out of their training thinking that they "will" or "won't" do things (which is fine and great), but until the mother in labor meets this boundary, there's no way to know whether it's interference or not. Maybe that sounds abstract, I don't know. I'm very obviously still plucking at this and working through it.

What is the 'right' way to midwife?

I don't have any idea. I don't know who I will be as a midwife, I don't know what I will value. I don't know what my learning experiences will teach me. I'm questioning NOW, I'm opening my heart NOW to things I do feel pretty resistant to, but I'm doing it anyway. How will I know what fits if I am not willing to really try it on?